Posted by: Lizabeta | February 28, 2008

In the beginning, God created man and woman…

There is a reason God ordains marriage. (Actually, there are many, but I’m focusing on one in particular here) It’s not that he’s trying to make our lives boring.  Children need two parents.  They need a mother to nurture, to guide, to care take. They need a father to learn discipline, authority, obedience. Men are the complimentary care takers to women. They offer different lessons, have a different point of view.  Children need both to become well balanced adults. I’m going to pass over for a moment the fact that it is possible, though much more difficult to achieve, that balance as the child of a single parent to get to my point.

I have unfairly robbed my child of this.

He has a step-dad, a wonderful one. My husband is Dad to him. But, he also wonders about the man who contributed genetics, an eyebrow quirk, a certain passion, hyper-ness and curiosity about the world. He wonders why this person does not want to be part of his life. At his young pre-adolescent age, he wonders what might be wrong with his dad that his dad wouldn’t want to be part of his life. The confidence and ego-centric world of a child. In a few more years he will wonder what is wrong with himself that his dad doesn’t want him. The edgy world of hormones, self doubt and an awareness that there is a world outside himself.

And the truth is, it’s not either of their fault. It’s mine. Girls, remember what your knees are for.

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