Posted by: Lizabeta | February 28, 2008

Choices…

So what was this choice you were talking about? This decision you said you had to make soon…

 *sigh*  

Choices suck.

Sometimes I’d like to just be told what to do and do it. What do you want for dinner? I don’t know… just tell me what to make and I’ll happily make it. Just tell me what the right thing to do here is… but I don’t think anyone can do that.

His father reduced the child support amount last year, with an agreement that we could have it reviewed this year. He’s a lawyer. He’s been one for a number of years now. It’s hard for me to believe that he makes less than 3K a month. I make 2100 and I’m the bottom rung at the school district office. A Typist Clerk. But, … and I’m guessing here… his old law firm, the owner died and his sons took over. They went on for about a year then it looked like they downsized the office. Let go of a number of folks at once… Okay… he’s got to find a new job.

My dilemma is this: He’s opened up his own law practice. Do I press the court to impute his wages at a reasonable amount for a man of his (Ivy League) education and years of experience? I have in the past and they did. Likely I could press the issue again… perhaps it would go my way, perhaps not. He’s well educated and in a good career. He doesn’t see my son at all. I’m not as well educated, I’m working but don’t make a lot and I have my son all the time.

But do I have the desire to? Do I have the right to? There are pros and cons to both sides…. implications of decisions that are complex and agonizing. Doesn’t he deserve a chance at running his own business? If that is what he is really doing and not just trying to avoid paying? Should I give him the benefit of the doubt? Can I support us without his help? Would forcing the issue just make him resent my son? Me? Both? Does it matter?

Part of me wants to just let sleeping dogs lie. Not say a word or ask for a change one way or another.

Part of me wants to press the issue. For heavens sake, you’ve been a lawyer now for 7? 8? years? You won’t see your son and you ought to be able to make a lot more money than I do… so cough it up… it’s only recently I’ve been able to afford health insurance…. help us out a bit.

Part of me wants to drop the child support entirely… give him an honest to goodness chance at success, whatever the extra amount might contribute. Just offer to help the boy through college later.

 So… that’s it… that’s what all this boils down to… I want to give my son the best life I can. Marriage, my job, my protectiveness over him, his discipline, his medications… all a dance to guide him into a healthy well adjusted adulthood… something I never had.

What is in my sons best interests? And what is the best path to that?

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