Posted by: Lizabeta | February 28, 2008

Anticipation…

I had emergency surgery in July.  Not to sound over dramatic, but I almost died. I was bleeding internally. My girl parts are broken. My uterus has rebelled. They took out the major culprit… an out of control ovary the size of a grapefruit. (I’ll never look at one of those the same again) but it wasn’t enough. The pain is intense. I cry in fear when ‘my time’ approaches. I want them to take out my uterus now. No more baby making for me.  Good God, just take it away from me. But more surgery means more risk. It weighs heavily on my mind, what may happen to my son if I die.

God shows us Himself through our children. He shows us his patience with us by requiring patience with them. He shows us how his rules are not made for fun or for torment or to make our lives bland and difficult. His rules are there because he knows what is genuinely in our best interest. What we need and not necessarily what we want. He shows us how to love and let go. He shows us discipline in the form of natural consequences. He shows us our own selfish desires, petulant attitudes and his love for us despite them. Our children and our relationship with them is a reflection of the relationship he has with us. And so, when I have those dreams and wake up wanting to weep for the pain I’ve contributed to, I pray. For forgiveness for my part in things.  But I also pray for his father. Lord that he might have a child and learn what a wonderful father he would make. Lord that he might open his heart and take a peek at what he is missing so far… A part of him, an adults view of his own childhood, reflected in his son. Lord, let him have a child.  Before its too late, before he misses out. Before they both miss out.  Whether or not it results in him stepping through our open door… let him experience the joy of watching bits of himself in his offspring.

Heh. My son was upset that they might take my uterus out and that I would not be able to have another baby. He’s always wanted a younger sibling. Someone he could teach Legos to, he says. Another reason to keep praying I suppose.

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Responses

  1. Might I suggest some alternative or natural therapies? My cousin had a hysterectomy at the age of 24 because of “female problems” (I can’t remember what) that were so bad she allowed the surgery, but didn’t try anything else. Within a few years, she deeply regretted it and it contributed to her depression. I’ve read that hysterectomies are among the most over-done surgeries, and that doctors are all-too-willing to remove the uterus before trying lesser therapies that might fix the problem but leave the uterus intact. I know there are several herbs that are very good for “female problems”, so you might check that out, as well as some other things–medications or surgical procedures.

    I’ll be praying for you,

    Kathy
    katsyfga.wordpress.com
    womantowomancbe.wordpress.com

  2. I’d love to listen to some options. I don’t know how long I can give them to work… The pain I feel every three weeks is as strong and intense as the pain that initially sent me to the Emergency Room. I’m convinced at moments that I’m dying again, something has gone wrong and I’m bleeding internally. … *sigh*

  3. I’m sure it will depend on your actual condition, but would suggest that you go to a health-food store or some store that stocks herbal remedies and see what they have. When I used to live in the Chicago area, our local Wild Oats had a large selection of different herbs and supplements just for women. I am not personally knowledgeable about herbs, but know quite a few people who treat themselves with herbal medicine as their first treatment, and most don’t actually need a doctor, because herbal or natural remedies work well for them.

    One all-around good “female” thing to take is red raspberry leaf tea. I’m familiar with that because it’s very common for midwives to suggest it to their pregnant clients, especially in the last weeks of pregnancy. (Make sure you get the herbal tea, and not just raspberry flavored tea–I made that mistake the first time! 🙂 I thought it was the right thing, but I looked in the “tea” section instead of the “herbal” section of the store.) The back of the box had a list of several reasons for taking the tea, including pregnancy, PMS, etc.

    The treatment I was thinking of was “ablation” which is less severe than hysterectomy, but I just read a little more about it, and it does render you sterile, although you actually get to keep your uterus. I guess it basically kills the inner lining of the uterus so it can’t bleed so much (or at all).

    If you’d like to share more of your condition with me, I wouldn’t mind walking through this with you, and perhaps be able to suggest a different line of thinking–“outside of the box” since I’d have a different perspective from yours. I can look in some of my books I have, plus research online or ask some of my herb-savvy email buddies for suggestions. You can email me if you’d rather not have this conversation “public.” 🙂

    Kathy
    kathy_petersen_283 @ yahoo.com

  4. So while I couldn’t sleep last night, I kept thinking about herbs and stuff. Again, I’m not knowledgeable about this, so you can check with an herbalist or somebody about it. I used to work in a pharmacy, and know that some herbs can interact with prescription & OTC medications, so be sure you check specifically any interactions with anything you’re taking.

    Dong quai is an herb used to treat menstrual problems.

    You didn’t mention if the bleeding is heavy, or if it’s just painful. Anemia is implicated in postpartum hemorrhage, so it makes sense to me that it might be a cause of heavy monthly bleeding. Even if it’s not, most women have low iron (due to menstruation), so that might be something to look into. You can take iron supplements, eat more red meat, cook in a cast iron skillet (especially tomato products), and eat certain vegetables that are full of iron (like spinach). Also, blackstrap molasses has iron in it.

    Just to clarify, I’m not anti-doctor and anti-medication, but if there are natural remedies, I’d prefer to take them since they’re likely less potentially harmful than medicine and surgery. My perspective as a pharmacy tech showed me that most modern medicine only treats the symptom, while the main problem goes undiagnosed and untreated. For instance, *why* do people have high blood pressure, cholesterol, or blood sugar? That’s usually not addressed because it’s easier for them to take a pill. (The fact that so many of them can and do mess up some people’s livers or other organs is minimized.) I’m a Christian, and I believe that God has allowed mankind to make advances in medicine for our good; but I also believe that He made the world pretty dang good too, so there may be natural things we can do to bring healing in our bodies (though sin is present with us).

    I don’t get headaches, which I attribute to drinking plenty of water (probably around a gallon a day). When I do get a headache from another source (like hitting my head), I take calcium and it prevents or cures it. I also take calcium to help me sleep at night if I need it; and I take calcium for menstrual cramps. I learned about calcium’s properties for this when I was pregnant. I got some severe leg cramps, and my midwife suggested calcium. My SIL also found relief from her pregnancy-induced leg cramps only in calcium (she took 2-3 a day–if she missed one day, she’d have a leg cramp that night). I don’t know if you can take too many calcium–that’s something to check into before you take them by the handful. 🙂 But I take 1000 mg (with vitamin D, for better absorption) whenever I feel like I’m starting my period. I never get beyond “mild cramps” because I take calcium then, and they are gone within 30 minutes. I can’t guarantee it will work for you–you may need to take more than I do, or take calcium regularly for a month before your body builds up an adequate supply–I’m just not sure. But it’s an alternative you can try.

    Kathy


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